Friday 24 August 2007
Male Bridget Jones syndrome(!)
Singleness at weddings and family occasions. Interesting one. Funny how much during that week away I found myself drawn down a slightly melancholy path of musing over the past... But a kind of musing very much confined to that week and that kind of gathering. It's so much to do with environment and the people you're with. In normal life, you're sufficiently absorbed in activities you've chosen and enjoy, and relating to so many folk in a similar boat on this front ie past the flush of youth and still single, especially in the church, that it doesn't bother much. Sure it crosses the mind sometimes, but I'm pretty comfortable with life. On the IoM, though, there was that slight fish out of water feeling. Immediate family all in couples, lots of couples at the wedding... and I suppose the clinch point is that because the people you're with don't see the rest of your life, it's easy to feel you must look a bit odd - 'why are you still single?' you imagine folk thinking. And don't get me wrong; there's at least two things I immediately have to say to myself on this one: 1. you choose how you think in that kind of situation 2. in these social gatherings also there are of course plenty of folk in a similar boat, and plenty to talk and relate about if you make the effort. So get a grip Bruce! Still, worth acknowledging the issue.
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2 comments:
I think you'd find that not many people (couples people or otherwise) are thinking "why are they still single?" I guess weddings maybe highlight it a bit more than is natural because it's all about coupling: invites are for x and partner, the dance caller will say "take your partners" at the ceilidh.
I think that once someone gets a partner, they stop thinking in terms of singleness and couple-ness quite so much. They maybe relate to other couples a bit better (just because they have something obvious in common), but they're not really thinking "single guy...how weird"
There's a pretty natural change that happens in their social interaction when someone goes "off the market" though. There's a relaxation because things you say are less likely to be misinterpreted as chatting someone up, or "sussing" their status. That's something that single people have to put up with.
For single people, it's not all bad though. You still get to enjoy the thrill of the chase, should you spot some tasty prey...
It's pretty inescapable to have different social dynamics according to your status as single/attached, but you're right: it's not something worth focussing on because it can become a crippling inhibition if you let it get to you.
Ah ha ah ha! Hey Beat, here's me thinking, oh, no-ones's reading anyway, I can get away with this! I think GV hiding us St S bloggers away on a separate page lulled me. Anyway cheers for your response - nicely observed from 'the other side'. I may come back to this one...
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